Miserlymoms.com | Successful Coming Home Stories 1

Successful Coming Home Stories::

These are stories, written by readers, of how they left their career or previous lifestyle in order to stay home with the kids. To submit a story, please click here for guidelines.

Coming Home Story #61

My story….

I was married to my high school sweetheart in late 2001 (after dating for 6 years). Six months after getting married at the tender age of 22 we discovered I had cancer, I lost my job and the next year disappeared between cycles of chemotherapy and recovery. (Note here: I thank God that we live in Canada as our public healthcare system covered the majority of the cost of my treatment. We were able to keep out of debt during this illness.) While recovering, I worked as a nanny for my cousin, looking after her two young boys. I loved it and knew that that was what I was meant to do with my life.

I finally did start work in the advertising and marketing field in early 2003 and we started trying to have a family shortly there after – I had realized that time was too precious to squander it trying to improve my career and resume. Alas, it wasn’t until mid 2005 that I conceived and this fall I joyously announced to my employer that I was due in March 2006.

Because we had known from the beginning that we wanted to have a family and that I would be staying at home, we’ve worked really hard to build a strong financial base these last 4 years, including purchasing an old home which we are renovating ourselves, purchasing old vehicles up front, which my mechanically minded husband has kept running and faithfully putting money aside for retirement savings. We also paid off our student loans early and refused to use credit cards to get stuff our budget couldn’t provide. These measures mean we have no consumer debt. We’ve kept spending in check through frugality, enabling use to renovate our house without taking up any loans so far.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I started setting aside 100% of my salary in a separate savings account. I know this is drastic but I knew this extra income would no longer be available once I went on maternity leave. My husband and I decided to live off one income right away so it wasn’t such a shock when I did leave work. I am also entitled to some unemployment insurance for the first year off of work (provided by the Government of Canada’s Social Assistance program) which we will also put away for a rainy day. I know that by the end of this I will have banked almost $30,000 in savings – extra funds that we can accrue interest on in GICs. It is there for us if my husband is ever out of work and takes all the pressure off us financially. If we never need all or part of this fund we can use it to help put our children through University.

My 2 greatest tips for people in the early stages of their life is to differentiate between what you want and what you actually need and to be habitually frugal.

What you need is a solid place to live, not a lovely decorated spaces with designer furniture. We own no new furniture apart from the new mattress we bought when I had cancer (you need a good mattress when you’re on bed rest for a long period). What you need is a mode of transportation to get places. We have no new vehicles, even though all of our friends drive shiny new ones. On the flip side, we’ve owned our house since I was 21. It’s not a new home or condo like our friends own but we did only pay 60% of what they shelled out. Since our purchase, there has been a major upward swing in housing prices in our city. We were fortunate to get in early while we could still afford a home.

Form frugal habits right from the get-go because habits are easy to keep once they are formed. Bring a lunch to work, even if you can afford to buy one. Make suppers in advance- it saves time, ensures you eat healthily and saves money. Find cheap ways to entertain yourself instead of paying for 10 million channels of satellite TV. - I started a youth choir at my church 2 years ago with 2 friends. As the accompanist and the person who chooses the music the choir has provided me with hours of meaningful entertainment and room to grow meaningful friendships, musical talent and faith. I’ve also worked to raise money for community initiatives which has really helped me know my neighbors.

I hope more people build a mountain of financial strength for their families in the early 2 income years of marriage instead of digging a financial hole that their families fall into!

~ Carolyn P., Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Coming Home Story #60

My husband and I were married in 1999. During the first years of marriage we both worked and made plans for a family. After three years of waiting and praying I finally gave birth to our beautiful daughter. It was always our goal for me to be a stay home mother, but while I was pregnant my husband and I couldn't seem to make a budget where we could survive on one income. Going back to work after having my daughter became more and more a realization. During my maternity leave from teaching I became very depressed. The thought of leaving her was more than I could bear. Fortunately my mother came to stay with us to take care of our daughter. Leaving her in daycare was not an option.
The first day of going back to work was unbearable. Many women would constantly reassure me that it would get better. How could leaving my baby all day get any better?! I cried everyday and dreaded going to work. My students and work suffered. Teaching had always been a big part of my life and a joy, but all I could think of was that I was I needed to be with my child. It seemed she was always catching a virus from my work and we spent so much time and money at the doctor's.
My husband began to suffer from my stress and depression of working. Our marriage was becoming strained and I secretly held him responsible. Many people said I was not the same happy and energetic person I use to be. Finally after a lot of hard work, prayer, and research I found the book, "Miserly Moms, Living on One Income in a Two Income Economy". After reading it several times I soon convinced my husband that it was possible. We talked to other parents doing the same thing and got some good advice. We paid off debts and drastically cut our spending.
I left the teaching profession and am now at home with our daughter My family says that I'm the person I use to be and my daughter is so happy and healthy. My husband is happier than ever. He has his wife back. We've been living on one income for several months and it seems to be just fine. We have to make sacrifices, like not going out to eat, not buying expensive clothes, not taking trips and going to the movies. But we do not miss those things at all. Our daughter is our happiness and every day is a new experience. We have even considered homeschooling and are working on having another child. This is the way it should be for us and the benefits are worth it.

~ Lisa-Denton, Texas

Coming Home Story #59

Well, my homecoming is new and somewhat unplanned for, but I am so enthusiastic after discovering the miserly mom site, that I just had to share my story! My husband and I were both in the Army when we married and had our daughter. Everything was great, financially. We were living well not having to worry about money, insurance, or job security. However, by the time my daughter was six months old, the Army decided I needed to go away for a training exercise. At this point I decided that, my situation permitting, I would choose to be honorably discharged rather than continue down a career path that was not conducive to child rearing. My husband was discharged within weeks of my discharge. We received the benefit of relocating (packing, moving & temporary storage) our household goods for free. We decided to move (from where we were stationed in TX) to Miami , FL. This decision was based on the fact that my husband had an unusually large family who would be able to help us with a place to stay and childcare once we became employed. Fast forward two years and we have been struggling with $9 and $10/hr. jobs in an incredibly expensive city. Thank God, we are both going to school without having to break the bank thanks to the GI Bill, grants, and subsidized loans. Additionally, we are renting a nice home from a relative for below market value. However, I quit my job last month because I could no longer have my husband and daughter dealing with the exhausted and frustrated side of me. My home was in shambles because I was too tired to cook or clean when I came home most days, which put more work on my husband. My husband and I discussed it, spoke with our pastor about it, fasted and prayed about me staying home. It’s only been a couple of weeks, and I still don’t have health insurance, but it is a leap of faith. We are certain that the Lord will provide for us. So far, I have been blessed with getting to know my daughter! She knows so much and can do so much. I love that I can spend time with her interacting, rather than popping in a video to entertain her while I do something else. Also, I think my husband is enjoying more home-cooking and my energy to have quality time with him. (Instead of just falling asleep on the couch when I get home!). My only concern is that we have that good old American credit card debt. But, like I said, it’s a leap of faith, and I think this site will help me become frugal enough to stay within our new budget.

~ Angela of Miami, Florida

Coming Home Story #58

My husband and I married when I was 16 and still in High School. Everyone in the family figured we “HAD” to get married, you don’t get married young unless you are pregnant right??? We started out in a small 3 room house with no running water and no indoor bathroom. I went to school and my husband worked at the local sawmill. We were lucky if we broke $10,000 the first year we were married. During my senior year of high school we had our first baby. Through hard work, we were able to buy a 2 bedroom mobile home. We were so grateful to get that new home. However, neither one of us was knowledgeable about money, interest or putting money in savings. My husband began to pipeline and we moved from town to town as the line progressed. It was exciting to get to go to new areas and the money was really great. However, when you really looked at the money, we never came out ahead because we still had all of our bills at home. In 1992 we had a daughter and in 1993 I was put in the hospital for kidney stones. At that point with no insurance, I had to go to work to pay off that big hospital bill. So began my work life, a monstrous nightmare of getting up, going to work, desperately trying to find a babysitter most days, cleaning houses, noses, bottoms, falling asleep in the tub, going to bed and low and behold do it all again the next day!

We both went back to work at the sawmill where we worked for the next two years and then it went out of business. I then began attending college full time, worked full time, had the housework and a 3 and 4 year old. Those were hard days, we had a car repossessed and nearly lost our home. We lived on beans and cornbread. We all four slept in the same bed because we didn’t have money for heat. The mobile home we had was not well built and you could easily spend $400-500 just to heat it between propane and electricity. I finally graduated from college and worked for 2 more years and then that company went bankrupt. Here we go again!

I found another good job and we were making quite a bit more money and getting quite a bit more debt. We made more money and had more stuff, but our marriage was unhappy and things were falling apart. We bought a new double wide, a mustang, a dodge ram truck, a four wheeler, and had credit card debt. We had $95,000 worth of debt and were miserable. Then on April Fools Day this year, our neighbors house burnt and it nearly burned ours too. That was the biggest wakeup call God could have given me. I thought you know, just a few months ago we wanted a new car and a new truck and were looking at buying a $20,000 boat. All these things would make us “HAPPY!” Yeah right!

I started thinking about contentment and what it really meant to me. Was it having stuff or was it being happy. I quietly decided that I was going to start whittling away debt. I soon learned that if I trusted God that money would show up when we needed it most, or I was able to stretch a little more out of each paycheck. We were very blessed to have a banker that was patient with us.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am extremely hard headed when someone makes me mad. We had wanted a boat for years and I had prayed about it. I told God that I would wait and let Him work that out in His time if He felt like we needed one. Well, my dad decided to sell his to us. It in a 86 model for a thousand dollars. But you know what? We have as much fun in our $1000 boat as we would have had in that $20,000 boat. The barb came when a relative made the comment “well a lot of good it does for them to have a boat. I wonder how they will afford to put gas in it.” That lit a fire in this redneck girl like. So I made the decision right there that I was paying off every penny of debt that I had. I think God let that get to me because He knew how it would make me react. So I sat down and made a budget. I started with all my bills added up from the least all the way up to the house and I am knocking out one at a time. My husband said, you know how we are, we won’t ever do it. To an extent he would have been right before, but this time is different. I am cutting back on everything I can and if all goes well will have all credit cards and hospital bills, student loans and furniture paid off by June of 2004. I am then taking every one of my paychecks and putting it on my car and then on our truck. We will drive them until they die. I often thought that I had to work but after some careful calculation I see what I really bring home and it’s not much. We got back $1000 on our taxes this year. If I had not worked, we would have gotten back nearly $5000, qualified for State insurance for kids, and gotten free lunches at school. I could pay off our house in 6 years with just the income tax alone. So even though I am not a SAHM yet, I plan to be soon. I just felt compelled to write and let others know that they are not along in their struggle with wanting to be home with their kids or in their struggle to get there. This year on vacation we stayed home and didn’t go anywhere. We slept late everyday and it felt wonderful.

I guess I should thank the relative because he is the catalyst that has pushed me to do what I am doing. Every time I am tempted to splurge I think about that barb and it prods me forward. My husband is proud of the progress that we are making and our marriage is so much better for it. God works in funny ways. Don’t let life or other people get you down. I look forward to being home with my kids. Things have been hard but many valuable lessons are being learned and I wouldn’t change it all for anything.

Hopefully in a couple of years I will be writing back with a successful “Coming Home Story”.

~ Dana in Arkansas

Coming Home Story #57

My husband and I were college students when we got married and had our first daughter. We had very little money, but came from households where hard work and budgeting were the "norm." Our daughter was in day care for one year while I finished school, and I stayed home and babysat another little girl during my husband's last year of college. Upon his graduation, we moved and I took a job teaching preschool at a child care center. I liked my job, and loved the children, but at the end of the day, our daughter was incredibly clingy because she'd had to share me with 20 other children that day. I had a miscarriage 6 months into my job and I didn't want to go back to work. I went over our necessary expenses and concluded that my salary, while nice to have, was still only a third of my husband's, and we could handle it financially.

My husband was not too keen on my staying home. I had no day care expenses for my daughter (the center allowed employees free child care), but it was still just above minimum. He liked the extra "play" money, and I did too, but I wanted more time and less stress. Once I showed him the figures on paper and a projected budget for the next year, he agreed that I should stay home. I have been home ever since.

The easiest change to our budget was getting rid of fast food and delivery. Now I was home full-time and I saw meal prep as part of my job description. I also found ALDI, a very inexpensive grocery that sold most of the staples that we needed. For everything else, I waited for the store fliers to have them as loss leaders and stocked up. My clothing budget went down, as did car maintenance...I didn't drive to work anymore. We had our second daughter eleven months after I became a stay-at-home mother and my husband remarked that he liked coming home to a happy wife and daughters who were glad to see him. Now that I was home full-time, he was able to focus on his career, and he received a promotion which enabled us to buy our first home when our second daughter was nine months old. We did that on only 30K a year! It's 5 1/2 years later, we recently moved into a newer home and have three daughters. I don't believe we would be as financially sound now if I were still working, because like it or not, men are rewarded with raises when they don't have to worry about sick children, piano lessons, etc.

I found a lot of support from our parents when I stayed home, and my mother raised us to appreciate what was necessary and what was wanted. I was lucky enough to spend the first twelve years of my life in a house that HAD to budget, before we saw affluence. I hope my daughters also find it a blessing to see how I save money and can use that as adults.

I am happy that I am home. Two of our girls are now in school. Our youngest goes to preschool next fall. I will probably end up working part-time in a few years, but I find it incredibly liberating to know that we can afford me to have that choice. My husband, now, is thrilled to have me home. All our lives are easier. It takes longer to hang laundry and make homemade meals, but I ENJOY it and feel powerful knowing that it was my budgeting skills that made it possible.

~ Monika from Brillion, Wisconsin

Coming Home Story #56

Hi! My name is Emily from MN. I am 25, have 2 kids who are 1 and 4, and am married to an over-the-road truck driver. Before I began working at home, my life was total chaos! I worked part-time for the postal service doing data entry, which was a good job, however, with my husband gone 5-6 days a week, if I wanted to work out of the home, that meant paying for child care. I had kids to raise them, not to pay other people to raise them for me.
So, in October 2002 - a year ago - I decided to start up my own business. My aunt had been an Independent Beauty Consultant with a natural skincare and cosmetics company and told me all about it. I was instantly interested. My husband was thrilled that I wanted to stay home with the kids (his mom was never home with him) and was even more thrilled that I didn't even have to invest a dime to start up my new business! I have been making money from day #1 and can work around my kids and my husband's crazy schedules. I absolutely love my job. My kids love having me home, and I LOVE being there for them.

~ Emily Hansen

Coming Home Story #55

~ Monika from Brillion, Wisconsin

Coming Home Story #54

I worked in public relations/corporate communications for a start-up telecom company. The company hit hard times and my job was eliminated. I was offered another position within the company, but it did not fit with what I wanted to do. So, since we were talking about having another child, my husband and I decided that it was a good time for me to start staying at home. My son (he was about 2 ½ at the time) had a little bit of a rough time transitioning from going to “school” to staying at home with me – but now he loves it. We found out we were expecting again about 3 weeks after I stopped working. Not working has been a huge adjustment for me, but I love being able to be home with my kids and watch them grow and develop. Eating out for lunch everyday is the thing I miss most about working. So, needless to say, budgeting for our family’s food bill has been the most challenging task for me. But, by using the frugal recipes I have found here and really planning out every meal and snack before I go to the store, I have cut our grocery bill almost in half!!!

~ Lisa, Springdale, AR

Coming Home Story #53

I have been a stay at home mom for almost two years now after eighteen years of working as an Administrative Assistant for a large defense contractor. From the time my first child was born, I desperately wanted to be home full-time. I missed the daily interaction of raising my oldest son through his early years and now my youngest was growing up just as fast and I was missing it also. Even though my sister was my children's caregiver and had always taken very good care of them, I wanted it to be me. I would pick them up in the afternoon, drained and exhausted from my day at work and her home would be filled with the smell of a home cooked meal. How I desperately longed for it to be me at home.

My husband and I continued to work to achieve what we felt was a good living, own our own home, drive new cars, etc., and knew that we couldn't make it on one income. Even though I wanted to come home, I agreed with him that it was out of the question due to our finances. I was making an above average salary for our area and was equal to my husband's salary as an aircraft mechanic. Our youngest child was born in 1992 and still my sister was his daily caretaker...their Aunt Mommy. She was wonderful, but I was literally dying inside. I was on a mind-numbing treadmill of waking up, working all day and coming home exhausted. I believed that our financial condition was "bigger than God" and that's pretty big! We were in our new home that we had built, owned a nice boat and a new van. Our credit cards were up there and I was miserable. Every raise I received at work was dreaded because it only pinned me to the job due to the amount of money I made. I prayed to God to help me be the mom He intended for me to be and to convict my husband that I needed to be home. My youngest was growing up before my eyes and I was missing it.

Now, to make a long story short, my husband approached me one morning and informed me he had decided to sell his boat. This was a shock because he loved to fish and used his boat often. He said he just felt he didn't need that elaborate a boat. The boat sold the morning after it was listed in the paper and our new van sold weeks later. A fellow employee of mine just happened to have a reliable used vehicle and we bought it and reduced our car payment from $448.00 to $170.00. However, the house we were living in required both incomes and we knew we would never be able to afford a home big or decent enough for our family with only one income. God knew better. While walking with my parents near their home, we noticed a big old house sitting on a corner with a huge front porch and swing cradled in Oak Trees.. I named the home "Serenity". It was the house that I had imagined living in and raising my children, but it wasn't for sale. My mother and I wrote the owners a letter asking them to please call our number if they ever decided to sell. Several months later, we got the miracle call and stepped out in faith and purchased the old home before we sold the home we were living in. We were so tight moneywise, it seemed the last thing we purchased was food and I had to be frugal. After a year of paying mortgage, electricity, and water payments on two homes, our home sold and we moved into our old (new) home. A year later, I turned in my resignation and came home full-time for the first time in my married life. I had never spent a summer with my children and I don't feel like my feet have hit the ground yet. I am loving homeschooling my youngest and have enjoyed catching up time with my oldest during his high school years.

Our budget was and still is pretty tight. I found that shopping at major food chains would not allow me to meet my budget. I found two discount food outlets and between the two stores and a good weekly menu, could feed our family of four for approximately $60.00 a week. That included washing detergent, shampoo, etc. I made a spreadsheet on my computer listing the cost of the items I would need for that week and basically tailored the spreadsheet to meet my budget. I put my pride aside and visited the Goodwill Store and other thrift shops on a regular basis and found good, used quality clothing and other items for the family and was thankful to find them. I went online and found recipes for making my own cleaning supplies so that I could make my own if the budget didn't allow cleaning supplies for that week. I saved money by actually cooking at home and freezing meals for later. I don't buy name brands unless they are on sale cheaper than the generic brands and have found the generic brands in many cases to be better. I buy my bread from a discount bakery for half of what the store cost is. I use my bread machine to make rolls and other treats for the family.

When other women comment on my frugality, I always know that I'd gladly shop at a Thrift Store or discount food chain to be home with my family...it's that important. My husband has accomplished all of the renovation on our old 1918 home saving us thousands of dollars and is still busily working on our home in his spare time. He enjoys coming home and having his dinner ready and his home in order and now wouldn't have it any other way. He prides himself in providing for his family and is a loving husband and father. God moved mountains to get me home and he will for other people also if they are willing to humble themselves and step out in faith. I only wish we had had the faith to do it sooner.

~ Lisa, Panama City, FL

Coming Home Story #52

My husband and I moved to Simi Valley, CA in 1995, after he had gotten out of the army. Neither one of us had college degrees nor jobs lined up when we arrived. For 4 years we worked our way up our company's corporate ladders. My husband amazingly, started out as a driver for a newspaper and worked his way to an executive sales position. I held various clerical positions for an insurance company, maintaining a modest, but stable income. The problem we encountered, was that we were living in a horribly expensive area of the country. At one point we were renting a very small, modest 3 bedroom house for $1350 a month...and it was supposedly a deal.

When my son was born in 1999, there was no question, I had to go back to work. I had no idea how horrible it would be. Although my mother-in-law watched him (the best care possible) every morning was horrible. I missed him terribly, and it only got worse instead of easier. As my mother-in-law had health problems, we put my son in daycare part time in order to give her a break. I will never forgive myself for this. This poor baby would cling to me when I picked him up, he was constantly sick, and was just not himself.

When my mother-in-law had to have surgery and was no longer able to care for him, we found a home day care provider. She was excellent, very loving and caring, and the kids were nice. At this point, I started a job, that required more hours and was more stressful. Although we had a good babysitter, leaving him every morning was still terrible. For the last few months of this job, I picked my son up at 5:45 and had him in bed by 8...just not enough time.

My husband had moved into biotech sales, and was now making more than we had both previously combined. Although he had been very reluctant for me to stay home originally, due to financial concerns, I received a call at work from him one day telling me to go home (just pack up my desk and leave). I of course, put my 2 weeks notice in and quit, feeling like I won the lotto.

Our life instantly improved...my son, now 2 could sleep in every morning, and then cuddle with me. I never wondered any more what he ate, if he had sunscreen on, how much TV he watched during the day, etc. I finally felt like a real mom. We played, read, went to the park, painted, things we had never had time to do before.

Less than a month after I quit working we found out that I was pregnant...very surprised but happy. Five months into my pregnancy my husband got laid off. No warning, just one day he had a job, then his office was shut down the next. This was definitely what every stay at home mom fears.

Within a month, my husband found a job back in the more stable newspaper industry. It meant moving 100 miles away to a much less desirable (hotter!) place to live. The real difficult part is that his income is less than half of what it was before. Even before we had our son, we always made more money than this. How could I go back to work though, 6 months pregnant, with a 2 year old?

Well, the baby is due in October, and we are just determined to make this work...we were able to reduce our rent to $995 a month, we still have 2 car payments, child support for my stepson, a small student loan, and credit cards...what is killing us right now is the grocery bills...I am definitely going to get this book to try and help cut that.

Its funny, before I wanted to trade in my car for a minivan, we were yearning to buy a $250,000 house (minimum price for a decent house where we used to live), we needed new furniture, etc. Now all we want to do is just get by. But, I know that all of that will come later in life. Right now the most important thing is to take care of my babies...what I am supposed to do.

~Holly in Colton, CA

Coming Home Story #51

My husband and I have three children, ages 12, 10, and 6. We have been homeschooling them for almost eight years. I left the nursing profession almost five years ago to be home full time to do the teaching. We have learned to be frugal over the years on one salary and we have seen God take care of our needs.

Two years ago, I saw an ad in a nursing magazine for nurses who might like to pursue medical transcription. It would allow me to work out of the home. I became convinced that it was for me. I knew nursing terminology and it might be a good way to bring in extra money to pay off bills. I talked to my husband about it. He asked me, "When will you find the time to do it?" I felt confident that I would find the time. We invested almost $1000 into the program and I began immediately. I finished in 18 months. I was able to keep up with the house and teaching, truly convincing everyone in this house and myself that I would be able to do it all.

I was hired six months after finishing the course. A very understanding lady hired me. She patiently familiarized me with all the documents I would be using in my work. After one-and-a-half months of working in the evenings, staying up in the late morning hours, I began to feel the drain because I still had the house, the children, and the schoolwork to do. I always told the children they could get me if they needed me but that soon changed. As more work was coming, I was not wanting to be disturbed quite as often. Evening meals were routinely tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches. But the day that changed it all was when my daughter came to me and asked me if I could help her with a stitch on her needlepoint. I told her, "No, I am too busy." Yes, I suddenly became to busy for my family, my home, my husband because of my job.

That evening I realized what my priorities use to be and how quickly they got out of hand because of the desire for money. I wrote my boss a note that night. I told her my family came first, then our home and schoolwork, then the transcription. I informed her that I would only, at the most, be able to work 2 evenings per week at the most. She wrote me the next day that she could not use me any longer.

The conclusion to all of this: A person can't have it all. If anyone really tried to do it, it was me. It wasn't over greediness; it was trying to help the family out (bills, etc.). I tried to do it all and suffering occurred in so many areas. I am so glad not to be employed. I am enjoying getting our house in order, helping our daughter with artwork and stitches, and being the MOTHER that God intended me to be. I get up early to fix my wonderful, understanding husband a cup of coffee. I have the most understanding family who supported me in this working endeavor and prayed for me. They are the ones who need me and I will not let these few short years get away. Even working at home consumes the family hours. Just because you work at home, don't be fooled-people and things get pushed off to the side.

~Jill in Wheeling, West Virginia

Coming Home Story #50

I am a married mother of two girls, ages 8 and 5. Eight years ago when our first daughter was born we wanted desperately to have one parent home with her. Finally eight years and another child later it has happened. I have served as Director of Marketing for an architectural firm for the past 11 years. Since becoming a mom, I had approached my boss about reducing my hours to 30 per week. Each time I got the same response, "It's not possible. I need you here full-time." In October 2000 my husband and I decided that if we didn't just make the decision for me to come home it would never happen. We then committed to work on debt reduction and in January 2001 we put half of each of my paychecks into savings. In May 2001 I submitted my resignation. Much to my surprise my boss suggested I take a leave of absence for the summer and offered to hold my position for me and that I could return and work a reduced schedule in the fall when our girls go to school. He signed off on
my schedule matching that of my girls. When they don't have school, I don't go to work. When they have a half-day, I have a half-day.
When I share my story with friends, they can't believe how lucky I am to have someone that will accommodate me with the same schedule as my children. I truly believe that God alone has provided this for myself and my family. I'm in my second week of being a SAHM and can already tell a noticeable difference in our girls behavior/attitude. It seems that our family functions much smoother now that they have my full attention. I know that in late August I will return to work and things will get crazy around the house again, but I am so thankful for the 10 weeks I have with my children this summer. It is truly a gift from God. Thank you Jonni for your encouragement through your books and web site. I truly appreciate all you do for those of us making family our priority.

~ Nancy, Wamego, KS

Coming Home Story #49

I'm a married mother of two children. I've been a homemaker for three years now. Financially, it was hard at first, but we used a lot of your advice and have been able to make better decisions about spending our money. I just wanted to take the time out and tell you how helpful your Miserly Mom Book has been to me. I've learned to keep my grocery bill under $150 dollars a month and I've made some of the recipes you shared with your readers. I still make my own waffle syrup to this day. I've enjoyed spending time with my children. Going on school field trips with my oldest child and exposing my youngest child to things he would never get if he were in a daycare.

Your book was so inspirational to me that I've decided that even after my youngest child starts public school, I won't seek full time employment. I see the importance of being available to my children and helping them to make the right decisions for their lives. I realize that I could not do that if I were seeking a career. There is no feeling in the world can take the place of seeing the smile on your child's face when you are there to see them receive an award at school. Thank you for sharing your knowledge
with the rest of us.

~Andrea

Coming Home Story #48

Your book came into my life- at just the right time!!! My boss said to me one day - "You need to choose your priorities- either your job or your family, your family always seems to need you- so you need to choose" And with that my journey of self discovery began.

Although I always thought I wanted a career, and as a single mom there was really no other choice, my life had since changed. I met and fell in love with a wonderful man. He is very interested in the best for my son and myself and if I need/want to be home with my son he is all for it.

He and I had spent many hours tallying up the figures of what it was costing me to commute to Manhattan for my job. We knew that in the end I was not really contributing financially to the bottom line, as I had been in Texas, with my 5 mile commute! But we did not see any other way - until I stumbled
upon your book.

Some of the ideas I already had come up with myself- some were eye opening - but ALL were reaffirming what we knew already in our hearts- It is very rare indeed that if you choose to stay home you can't make it work.

With well thought out planning and decision making, budgeting and 'delayed' gratification- ANYTHING is possible. The energy I used to channel into a 1.5 hour commute each way, meetings, coaching / counseling session, reports, and worry - I now channel into a walk to/from the bus stop with my little boy, meetings over cookies and milk, feedback sessions that go something like this.. "Mom, I Love you - " "Mom, can I tell you something - you are really neat!", and activity reports that are more vital to MY family's bottom line -
"Our son made this drawing today- of our family", "Our son wants us to go on his field trip next week", "Our son is excelling in math, reading, soccer-whatever!" and the worry of a mother, although never ending - is no longer pushed aside by the worry over next monday's agenda - the priorities of my life now feel JUST RIGHT. And I feel JUST RIGHT.

This is/was such a shift for me- I am still a work in progress- and although I may never entirely give up career dreams- at least for now- I am comfortable in the notion that for as long as it is possible my career is my family!

Your book got me more excited than ever as to HOW to make this happen.

~Dawn

Coming Home Story #47

I have been a stay at home mom since my son was born almost 11 months ago. I had been a news anchor for 10 years, very career-driven and moving around the country for jobs at bigger TV station in bigger cities. When my husband and I started thinking about having a family I started wondering how I would ever be able to continue that work and be a good mother. In the course of my work I read so many articles and studies about day care and the development of infants and young children. I realized that the best thing for my baby would be for me to be there with him every day. By the time I was pregnant both my husband and I agreed that I needed to quit my job and stay home. The problem was, I was earning about twice what he was (he was a news reporter). We were worried about how we'd ever make it on his salary alone.

We really prayed about it and started believing that we really had no choice - I would just have to quit and we would trust God to provide for us. We had a small amount of money in savings. We decided that he would look for a higher paying job and trusted that he'd find one by the time the savings ran out. Two days after my due date I signed off the news for the last time (my station management was incredibly understanding and supportive of my decision). We were able to keep our home, having bought much less than we could afford while I was working.

We had one nice car we were still making payments on and one old one that is paid for. Well, a few months ago the savings was just about gone when God swooped in with the rescue. The station promoted my husband unexpectedly from reporter to main anchor, more than doubling his salary. He now makes more than I ever did, so our old income has been replaced. We are much more comfortable, though we still shop at the bargain grocery store, eat mostly at home, and don't make extravagant purchases.

It is just amazing to see where faith has brought us and how God provides when you give Him the chance. It was a scary decision and required many sacrifices, but it was so worth it. Every day with my son is so special, and people continually comment on how happy and bright he is. I also feel so much less stress and have time for a happy relationship with my husband. We have just learned that we'll be having another baby in late January.

~Amy, Providence, RI

Coming Home Story #46

I am soon to be a mother of 2 with the oldest one 7. At the time I had her, I was going through a divorce so staying home was not at all an option. I rationalized that I had done such a great job with her that it was ok to be a working mom, I had done it and she is a well rounded, happy, bright, intelligent child. I did what I had to do at the time. I am now remarried and we are expecting another in September. I teach school and so many people have told me that it is a perfect job to raise children because you have the same hours your children do. Well, those that say that have no idea the amount of time that teachers spend on things outside of class, from planning, and grading to calling parents from home, because they are not home when I am at work....

We are moving to an area of the country where daycare, while high in quality, is also high is price. We started looking into a budget and discovered my yearly income, after expenses would be around
$2,000, yes I said ANNUAL!! I can assure you that this small penitence is not worth the price I will pay in not being able to be with this child. We are scared to death and are sure that God will provide, He will have to!!! I have never thought I could be a stay at home mom but my 7 year old was so excited and she said, "You mean you wont have any more night meetings or working on weekends with school work." That will make it all worth while. I will be HER mommy and not have to be an 8 hour a day mommy to other people's children. To me that has no monetary value at all. Please pray for us.

~Allison in Denver, CO

Coming Home Story #45

I am a new stay at home mom. I have a 2 month old baby girl and an 11 year old boy. I began my journey home over 3 years ago when I saw a TV program about how much a mother truly brings home out of her salary. Imagine my shock when I figured out I was bringing home less than $2.00/hr! I decided then to begin changes that would allow me to eventually come home. The first thing I should have done was tell my husband. But I was too afraid of what he would say so I just began reaching for my dream on my own. I read every thing I could find on cutting expenses... Larry Burkett, Linda Kelley, and Jonni McCoy's books had so much information!

Once my son was old enough to not require day care, before and after school for about 1 hour total, I put the money I had been paying for that in a savings account. It was nice to have this money to fall back on in emergencies and we already were used to living without it so we didn't miss it in the budget. Next, for each raise we got, I put that money into either my 401K or the savings account. I did these deposits automatically so I never missed the money. I also frequently took my lunch to work to save money. I finally got up the nerve to tell my husband what I was doing and he just did not see how it would ever be possible for me to come home. I also told him that if we ever had another baby, I would NOT be working full time.

I kept up the savings for about 3 years. I finally decided to resign my position as manager of a bank and work part time to be home for my son before and after school. I was pleasantly surprised to find out a month later that I was pregnant! I worked 30 hours a week the whole time I was pregnant in order to keep my insurance (my husbands doesn't cover maternity expenses). I am currently using the Family Medical Leave act to stay home with my daughter for 12 weeks. Once our insurance is in effect with my husbands company I will be turning in my notice at the bank. I don't exactly know how things will work out but I know they will. I have never been so fulfilled as when I look in my baby's eyes and know that she is going to have the best caregiver in the world- her mom!

~Mary, Dayton, IN

Coming Home Story #44

I am a new stay at home mom (2 months now). I am also a nurse. I have wanted to stay at home for 3 years but have always been afraid that we could not financially do this. We have two children a 10 year old boy and a 20 month old girl. My daughter has had medical problems recently and the doctors said her immune system could not handle day cares and being exposed to so many infections and viruses.

So I became a stay at home mom without notice! I was her pediatricians nurse. so I know this was necessary because she didn't want to loose her nurse. Anyway, I found your book at the library and it has literally saved us just by following your guidelines I can stay home without much worry. It is still a little tight but manageable.

I can not believe all the mistakes I was making in my shopping! I really appreciate you taking the time to share your information, and I am ordering both books! Plus my husband has been really impressed with my new skills not only in shopping but in cooking, which I didn't do much of before. I use your recipes and those in books you suggested such as the More with Less Cookbook and Dinners in the Freezer. Thanks again for all your insight.

~Anita in Sand Springs, OK

Coming Home Story #43

Thank you so much for the ideas in your book. I have been married for 19 years and have a 13 year old son. We have always had to be careful about our money because we were married when we were both full time students. As soon as we graduated, my husband spent two and a half years completing his masters degree. We accomplished our schooling with very little debt and within a few years we paid our school bills off. As soon as my husband completed his master's degree he decided he would be happiest if he established his own company. During those years we had our son and I stayed home with him full-time. Money was very tight but I always knew that going back to work was not an option. I used cloth diapers, nursed my son and made his baby food from scratch to save money. All of our clothes came from second hand stores and garage sales. We entertained ourselves with videos and dollar movies. We lived in a beautiful three bedroom in a co-op housing complex where our rent was based on our salary. When my son was four, we were able to purchase our first home. By paying 20% down we saved the expense of PMI. I always paid a little extra on our house payment. Since we lived very frugally, we were able to send our son to a very nice private school. Finances were tight, but we always had enough. I learned to make meals that were not expensive and when things got really tight because our income fluxuated, we went into the "recession budget" which had no frills. During those times we enjoyed bean soup, potato soup and scrambled eggs for dinner which I served on our very best dishes, complete with candles and cloth napkins. We have always managed to take vacations, even a trip to Disney World (on a tight budget).

Two years ago my sister read your book and was so inspired by it. I read it too. You gave me ideas I never thought of, and you encouraged me to continue living the frugal lifestyle. When our son was eight, I went back to work part-time. By saving all of my check for two years along with our home appreciation, we were able to save enough money to purchase a spacious 2200 sq. ft home in a beautiful suburb. We are still driving the same cars that are paid for. Our budget is still tight. But we still manage. We still shop at second hand stores as much as possible (I have a teenager) and I still have a recession budget to fall back on if we need to. Thank you for your encouragement.

~Sue in Bloomfield, MI.

Coming Home Story #42

I am a Licensed Independent Social Worker. My husband is a small animal Vet. I was the program coordinator of a Supervised Visitation Center. This had been a dream of mine for a long while. I started the program from scratch. It was fulfilling, but a lot of weekend and evening hours and overtime.

We were married for 8 years before we had our son. Both of us struggled with the decision that I would return to work after his birth. We always thought that I would stay at home. But with college loans from my Masters program and his vet school and private undergrad for both of us it didn't seem possible. We were fortunate in that my sister in law provided day care at minimal cost (half the cost of day care). When our 9 month old son started giving kisses and hitting other developmental milestones and I missed them, I knew something had to change.

I resigned from my job this week. My husband says that I have made him very happy. We have figured and refigured the budget. We don't know how it is going to work, but I'm getting the Miserly Moms book and praying a lot. We have a financial planner who is going to help us. I know that this is God's will for my life and he will provide. My biggest fear is loneliness. I'm still going to do some part time work. I teach one class at the University and will maybe do some contract work. I have already implemented some of your tips. I know that we will save money by not eating out for lunches, frozen meals for supper, clothes, day care etc. I took the afternoon off today and held my son while he slept. It felt so good. I can't wait to spend every day with him. My last day of work will be December 31. I know that I won't regret it.

~Joanne in Findlay, OH

Coming Home Story #41

My husband and I got married in 1996; we were both finishing college on a part time basis and working full time. We live in a one bedroom apartment because we saw no reason to pursue a house because we were barely ever home. My husband was working for a local municipality on a contract basis, so the insurance was through my job. I loved my workplace--they were like family. In 1998 we found out we were pregnant.

We had decided before getting married that when we had children I would stay at home with them. In my mind I was trying to figure out how I could convince my husband that I needed to work because I did not see how we could afford for me to stay at home. I looked at daycares, but they all seemed careless about getting another infant. Almost all the ones I looked at did not seem to give time to the infants or children they had.

We also had begun to look for a house to buy. We stopped looking when I was 7 months we did not have a contract yet, and the last thing I wanted to do was move on my due date. Well, it was a good idea...we did move to a two bedroom apartment within the month, and two weeks after we moved I gave birth to my 6-week premature daughter. She had to spend 3 weeks in the ICU. When I saw her in the hospital I knew I could not leave her anywhere or with anyone. I worked the last week she was in the hospital.

I gave my notice; of which my boss already knew I was going to do...they knew me pretty well. They were very supportive of my decision. We were financially stretched. God has been faithful and always provided what we needed and trust me there have been times when He is the only reason we've been able to buy groceries and paid bills. We learned the hard way about cutting costs. We did not plan properly for my staying at home and relied on credit cards the first year. We realized our mistake and began cutting costs. I used a cookbook by Rhonda Barfield named 15-Minute Cooking; its great to show you how to develop menus and game
plans for meals. My grandmother and mother have been resourceful in teaching and sharing cooking and cost saving ideas. I recently purchased the Miserly Moms book and I am beginning to implement some of the ideas suggested. Through trial and error we had already implememented some of the cost-saving guidelines.

My husband and I are still working toward our bachelor degrees. He is able to attend full time and I attend part time so I can help him out.
As well we don't need a babysitter very often because we share in the watching of our children.

Well, we are suppose to be having our first child in 2001--our five year plan (ha! ha!). So much for planning...two children later we having the time of our lives raising our children. I love being at home with them everyday. I can't imagine how I would get anything done if I was a working mother. We are even considering homeschooling, which is something I never thought I would enjoy. It's hard and sometimes we have to be creative with our time and finances, but in 20 years who will care...the only important thing is that my children are happy, healthy, and disciplined adults. It's an endless pursuit, but one worth the costs.

~Michelle, St. Peters, MO

Coming Home Story #40

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my marriage fell apart. My ex left the country, and made no effort to provide any support at all, so the only way to support myself and my baby girl was to continue at my low-paying, high-stress job. I put her in daycare, but daycare providers don't care much for overtime, so eventually my mother took over baby-sitting. While this gave me a measure of peace of mind, I would still have to lock myself in the bathroom at work often to cry. My perfect vision of motherhood had been shattered, and since I was so tired after working 10 hours a day, I just didn't have much left over for my daughter.

When my daughter was 16 months old, my relationship with my now-husband turned serious. My daughter and I moved into his house, and instantly my financial problems eased. However, the stress level of my job increased. The commute was over an hour not counting the detour to drop off my daughter at my mother's house, and my mother was beginning to hint that she was my daughter, a veritable fount of behavioral problems, was becoming too difficult for her to take care of while maintaining all her other commitments. Add to that my boss was not incredibly understanding about no longer working overtime (a request of my husband's) and I felt like I was at the breaking point.

After discussing it with my husband, I put in my 2 weeks notice. I had initially told him that I would find another job closer to home, but after a few days of staying home with my daughter I mentioned how I loved being able to spend time with her, and to my surprise he was delighted! I haven't "worked" since. We got started on a new baby, and though it meant he had to take a job with more hours, we started making plans on how he could retire early and knew it was a necessary step.

We bought 20 acres of land with a 3-year owner-financed mortgage and the four of us lived in a camper while we built our house-- ourselves. It's still a work in progress, but the satisfaction of living in a home built with your own hands cannot be underestimated. We are not connected to the electric company-- we have a generator to charge a battery bank while we buy solar panels as we can afford them. This is an enormous initial outlay, but the cost of solar energy (initial outlay and maintenance) versus electric company hookup at current rates (not counting inflation) comes out to a savings of $125,000 over a 50-year period. Wow! The best part is that if we have an overage of power we can sell it to the electric company-- THEY have to pay US!

The last year has been very work-intensive, to say the least. We have had to drop insurance coverage on our non-essential vehicles, shop at thrift stores, cook everything from scratch, and BUDGET BUDGET BUDGET so that all available extra money can go building materials. The payoff is huge, though: in less than 2 years, the land will be paid off, the house has been pay-as-we-go, we will have no electric bills, and my husband can retire early. The only bills we will have will be phone, insurance, and a small amount of propane (I use only gas ranges.) As for food, grocery bills are defrayed by the garden and deer hunting (even if we don't want to hunt, there are plenty of "sport" hunters around who will give the meat away because they don't have room in the freezer for it.)

But the best part is the time we have to spend with our children. Our daughter helps with the chores, and it makes her feel like an important part of the family as well as teaching her lessons in responsibility. Our son, at 14 months, displays none of the behavioral problems I experienced with my daughter. Knowing that Mom is around makes a big difference. My daughter has changed too. She still has some problems that we are working on, but I can't imagine how much worse it would have gotten if I hadn't started staying home with her. If I had to do it all over again, I would probably have swallowed my pride and taken Welfare so that I could be the one to be with her during those incredibly important first 2 years. I am so glad to have a supportive, hardworking husband who insists that even when money is tight that "raising our children is a full-time job and the most important job in the world."

~Chelsea from Longville, Minnesota

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