Miserlymoms.com | Successful Coming Home Stories 3

Fast forward 5 years later I receive my dental license with a job offer in California. We also have a new addition to our family, our 3 month old baby girl was born and my heart is broken a second time at having to work so soon. But we had school debts, immigration lawyer fees and moving costs to pay and those added to our burden.

My husband couldn't find employment when we moved and we decided that he go back to school and study for a career to meet the job demands in the area we lived in. This process took 3 years and produced more school loans.

I remember driving to work one day and God working in my heart to fully surrender the idol in my heart of wanting to stay home that I was willing to sin and disrespect my husband in order to make the dream a reality. So one day with tears in my eyes I asked for His forgiveness and told God that I know He is sovereign and at the same time good and EVEN if for some reason unknown to me He doesn't allow my dreams to be fulfilled I will still praise Him no matter what and that He teach me to find my joy and contentment not in anything else (great marriage, great career, being a stay at home mom) but Him.

In our hearts we both knew God's will was that I eventually stay home, but that prospect made my husband very uncomfortable as we had both had grown accustomed to my 6 figure salary. This produced a conflict in our marriage that made us seek biblical counsel from our close friends and pastor who came alongside my family and encouraged us to submit ourselves to God's design for a mom to be primarily a worker at home especially when you have small children.I read books like miserly moms, america's frugal families and we now follow the biblical principles of handling money God's way through Crown Financial Ministries and I even learned to be an extreme couponer, lol!

In 5 years we were able to pay off ALL our debts (about 180k) minus the mortgage and I resigned June of last year as a full time dentist from the clinic I was working at. I now only cover for dentists on vacation about once or twice a month as needed to keep my license and skills current and ONLY when my husband is home (he works 3 or 4 12-hour shifts every week and that's considered full time) so there is aways a parent with the children and we never need childcare. We took a 70% cut in pay by choice when we both decided that I quit and learned to live on far less by the mercy and goodness of God! To all you moms out there I pray that my story gives you a taste of the faithfulness of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, I am a happy stay at home mom with no regrets and we are currently trying for baby #3!

Just wanted to share that I have four girls and I am home now, except that I work 8 hours per week. I am looking for work to do at home as I am a medical transcriptionist. I never thought I could stay at home, but when I decided to stay at home full time a few years ago, everything just fell into place. I am still learning how to save and cut corners in new ways, but this was something I have always done anyway. So, this was easy for me.

Now that I am home most of the time anyway, I love it. I don't ever want to go back to a 9 to 5, even when the kids are in school. I never thought I could do it, but it is possible. And I feel this is where God wants me to be. My girls are 19, 10, 3 and 14 months. And, yes the oldest is in college, out of state.

So for all the moms that think that they can't. It is possible. My prayers are with you.

Coming Home Story #18

When our marriage began, I was a waitress that desperately wanted to be a stay-home-mom. Eventually, I got a job using my BA degree and our combined income was around $45,000 per year. When I suggested that we could pay off our $60,000 mortgage in three years, my husband thought I was nuts. My quest to cut every corner and achieve my dream began. The first year's spending changes were dramatic. I scoured the phone books and sought out every bakery outlet, bulk and wholesale shop in my area. I began a pantry, cut out prepared foods and learned to follow recipes (i.e. learned to cook edible foods). I garage saled each Saturday for an average of two hours (including drive time) to purchase everything we needed- home decor, clothing, necessities, and gifts. We slashed our gift budget from a $300 Xmas to spending $78.46 for all of our gifts (birthdays, Xmas, parent's days, baby & wedding showers, etc) in one year. I was VERY selective and wouldn't buy a gift unless I knew it was 1) something the recipient would want and 2) in brand new condition. I think this was the strategy that finally converted my husband to join me in the crusade of paying off the house.

I became pregnant 5 months before our projected pay off date, but I worked until my 7th month to build up a little nest egg. Now, we are living comfortably on a $30,000 year income, because we are still incorporating most of our frugal strategies. I nurse our daughter, garden, can, sew, garage sale, and home-make gifts. We kept our two door economy car even though a new four door or van would be nice. We sacrifice the things that don't 'hurt' or make us feel deprived. During this journey, most of the skepticism came from friends and some relatives (although most were very supportive, which helped immensely). We got called cheap and we were teased (sometimes tactlessly) for garage saling, and for all the money saving things we did. I fielded a lot of scorn for cooking everything from scratch. The funny thing was that even though the comments bothered us sometimes, we began to notice that those that threw the most stones were the ones worst in debt themselves.

Now, I am a stay-home-mom and my husband has a 9-5 job that he enjoys and that gives him plenty of family time. We live debt free. I still meet lots of families who don't see that they can do what we have done and I feel sorry for them. There is no better job in the world than waking up to my beautiful child's smile and knowing that I am going to be there to see it all day.

I've been home now for seven years and I love it! I sleep until 8:00 each morning, go pick up my work, start work at about 9:30 (in sweats or other comfortable clothing), work on and off throughout the day until about 5:30. In between times working I spend time with my baby, cook dinner, clean the house, and watch my favorite soap. Ha ha!

I didn't marry until I was 30 and I had spent all of my 20s working in offices, taking classes, trying to make a career. I thought true satisfaction came through being successful in business (back in my Femi-Nazi days). But for all my hard work, I realized after 12 years of devoting my life to a "career", I really had gotten nowhere great. I was making decent money, but nothing spectacular. What I noticed mostly was I was really dissatisfied being a slave to a company.

When I married, I decided to be a home-based medical transcriptionist so that I could be home for my husband and for when I had children. My husband was totally supportive, although a little impatient with the time and investment it took to finally start making money from the transcription (a few months and about $2,000). We didn't have a lot of debt so I was able to quit my job outside the home while I was learning transcription. I did need to learn to cut corners (something I knew nothing about). My main resources were Country Living magazine and Gentle Spirit magazine (web site: www.gentlespirit.com). The Tightwad Gazette was very inspiring to me at that time. To me it was an exciting adventure to get into cooking from scratch, gardening, canning, bread making, etc.

Coming home has been one of the most important steps I've taken in my life. I now have a baby daughter and I can't even imagine putting her in daycare or with a baby-sitter all day. I spend my days with her, working while she naps, although a teenage girl does come in for two hours a day to give some solid work time, but I'm still there to make sure she's okay. I'm also totally available to my husband (except when I'm on the net ha ha). The greatest bonus is I actually make more money doing this than I would outside the home! If I didn't know transcription, though, I would probably baby-sit so I could stay home. I think it is extremely important for mother's to stay home and raise their own children. To me, being home and being a mother is the best job I've ever had!

I worked outside of the home up until 9mos ago. My DH and I have 4 kids age 11,8,5, and 2. The older 2 are my full-time step children, and the younger two our children. When my now 5 year old son was born I stayed at home for close to a year and we were close to bankruptcy so my DH and I decided that I would go back to work. Well, that part time evening job turned into a full-time traveling job within a few months. I was so excited about being able to travel across the country and the company that I worked for was really wonderful to me.

As the years went by and I had our second son, I began to wonder why I was still working. We had bought a new home but it was a manufactured home and was not the top of the line. My daycare bill each month was around $1100. and although I felt like I was a frugal shopper our grocery bill was close to $500 a month. My DH's job at the time required him to leave early in the morning and stay till late at night at times and had no health coverage. My job had the benefits but was requiring me to travel more often and although my boss was supportive of the times that I did have to stay at home with one of the kids, I felt guilty on both ends no matter what choice I made.

Between 4 kids, working, activities and homework we were constantly running in circles and I really felt like I was not doing any of it well. I was developing a terrible temper and sometimes would just yell at my kids because not everything was getting done on my ever so busy schedule but still was not ready to commit to being at home. I was scared of what would happen to our finances if I stayed at home. It all came to a head one day when I was terribly sick. I was in such pain and had been for 2 days and had not been able to eat. I went to the urgent care, and realized while speaking to the Dr. that I had been having these pains for several months now had just been ignoring them because I did not have time to go to the Doctor, nor did I have time to be sick. The Doctor told me that I had to have my gall bladder removed immediately because I had a stone blocking my liver. I and a very high fever, and was completely jaundiced.

That night I was in the hospital being prepped for surgery. I was in the hospital for 4 days and the entire time I was there I wondered what my desk was looking like, all the phone calls not being answered, everything but my kids and family. I tried to shake off that feeling but it would not go away. I returned to work, but I had not returned to the person that I was before the surgery. I had tremendous guilt over the fact that I had been more concerned about my work, than my family. I really started to look at my job and I realized that the place that I wanted to be more than anything was at home with my kids, taking care of my home.

At this same time, my DH's new job finally offered health insurance, and that sealed the deal for me. I put in a 2 month notice, and like others have said, began to figure out where I could cut the expenses. Of course the daycare was out the window, I began to shop even more frugally and I joined a local gleaners organization for some of our groceries and I cut our grocery budget from $500 to less that $200 a month. I began making sure that every light and appliance was off when it was not being used. I read up on frugal tips on the Internet. I use coupons for everything such as movie rentals, cafe mochas and etc. With two incomes we hardly lived like kings, but it is amazing what you can do without when you put your mind to it. If we could not afford something we did without.

When I left my job, the people that I worked with kept in touch with me, and through them, I started a small business doing invoicing for general contractors, and have now several months later compiled 6 clients. We are doing okay, the kids have someone here each day when they get home from school, we have dinner each night at 5pm, the homework is done early in the day, the house is cleaner, and my kids are learning to make do with what we have instead of learning to buy into the attitude that we must have money to be happy, and best of all, I am now guilt free with this choice.

Having been on both sides of the fence, I wholeheartedly agree that there are actually very few families that absolutely need to have both parents working, and where at all possible one parent should be at home for the kids. More and more families are making this decision now, and I would not be surprised to see more one income families than two income families in the near future.

Years ago I quit a well paying job because it was boring and my husband and I worked different shifts. I told my husband of my dream to stay at home teaching piano lessons. We decided that I would continue to work for six months, and we would try to live on one income. Not only did we live on one income, but when I resigned, I had enough money to finish my music education at a local university.
With my stay-at-home income and miserly ways we were able to get our house and three cars paid off (We have two teenage drivers). We've taken some nice vacations, and my little income kept us above water when my husband was unemployed.

The bottom line is this: when considering being a SAHM, keep in mind what your resources and talents are. I would rather teach music than sew, do crafts or make my own bagels. When our kids came along I would work my schedule around them, teaching while they were napping, bartering babysitting, and yes, resorting to carpools.

Even though we weren't sure if we could have children or not, my husband and I married in our 30's with the intention that I would stay home. We both got busy with our careers, the baby didn't come, and we enjoyed the typical lifestyle of a couple in the D.C. area with a combined income in six figures. We stayed in the house my husband had bought as a single "just in case" but enjoyed dinners out most nights and never thought much about our purchases.

Then I unexpectedly became pregnant after 5 years of marriage. We immediately began considering how to handle this. My job involved a long commute into D.C. and intense days at the office interacting with high-level government employees and Congress. No way. I'd never see my child! Ironically, my job was also in the process of being "reinvented" out of the D.C. area anyway. So when baby time neared, I signed up for six months of unpaid maternity leave on the chance that I'd get laid off. I was thrilled when the notice came, which shocked everyone at work, but it sure made us happy because we were able to pay off all my medical bills with the severance pay.

Six months ago we moved further out into the country into a bigger house to get a better environment for our son and because we wanted a more rural life. We used money saved from my working years for a down payment. I find that rural people tend to live the thrifty lifestyle more, so it's easier for me to find others of like mind. I'm also teaching one night each week at a community college which brings in a little income, keeps my technical skills current, and also gives me educator discounts on software, books, and even craft supplies.

We still struggle at times with money. My husband in particular tends to favor eating out to save time, but he's learning to appreciate lunches from home and homemade muffins for breakfast on weekends. I've really found the Tightwad Gazette books helpful for overall philosophy. Making a price book has saved us so much on groceries and household supplies. We tend to eat pretty much lowfat vegetarian so I haven't found most of the thrifty recipe books very helpful, but I have applied the principles to my regular meals with some success.

I have no regrets. I continue to get job offers on an ongoing basis, but have no interest in returning to what I had before. My son is now 2 and we love our life as a family. He is a wonderful child and my husband loves having a wife home to track all the details of our lives.

I, too, have become successful at maintaining our family's quality of life while living on a budget. My husband works for the government; specifically the US Coast Guard. He makes a salary that qualifies for food stamps, but in the state where we live, the main concern before handing those out is what kind of vehicle we own. They (1994, 1995) happen to be late models and therefore we cannot receive them. We have one year left on payments for our van, and maintain credit balances of no more than $500 a month max on credit cards.

Anyway, we are a family of six and I haven't worked since 1992. Life is lean, but we do really well. We are able to enjoy lots of activities together (when hubs is not deployed on the ship) including boating for summer fun! I am proud of myself and my husband for achieving this. I miss the indulgences of having extra money on hand, but when I stop and think about the blessings we possess, I am SO grateful. To earn a raise in the military takes much time, and competition from other qualified personnel taking the tests. No guarantees. I used to think of it as FAILURE on our parts not to have any bank account and not having a "portfolio", etc. but when I consider what I am able to do with our money, I am proud of myself. This is a new attitude for me, yes. I am trying to be positive.

When one is surrounded by a wealthy (and therefore luxuriating) community, it is easy to become whiney, which saps the strength and the joy out of life. It is refreshing to read about you and how you have journeyed down a similar road. I don't feel so alone or "depraved". I am optimistic; when and if we do make plenty money, I will be putting it to good use!

I worked full time as director of retail operations for a home care agency. I used my credit cards without a second thought, spent money like it was water and lived pretty selfishly. When I went out on maternity leave, I was dragged, kicking and screaming. I thought I'd be bored. I did want to stay home with the baby but I knew we couldn't afford it.

My husband thought we couldn't afford to stay home either. It wasn't until 2 weeks before my leave ended when I announced I was *not* going back that we sat down and crunched the numbers. We realized it could be done.

One of the first things I did was buy Jonni's book!! I started researching ways to cut corners. It was fun! The Tightwad Gazette books were very helpful as well. I followed Jonni's advice about soup and bread night, I hung things on the clothesline, made my own baby food, used cloth diapers. I basically, adopted a lifestyle of voluntary simplicity.

A year later I am so glad I did this! I wouldn't have it any other way. I
haven't been bored for a single minute and our family has grown closer. I can go to school events for my older kids, watch my baby's every milestone and enjoy life in a way I never thought possible.

Having a career was always been one of my highest priorities. (In fact, I can honestly say that I never wanted to stay home full time to raise children.) I worked as a software tester for a large information technology company, and loved it. My husband is a Project Manager in the same industry, so we were used to two healthy incomes. Our spending was always moderate, as was our savings plan. We had no credit card debt, but still carried a mortgage, 2 car loans and a student loan. My husband supported my career, and yet hoped that I would some day consider staying at home to raise a family. When our first daughter was born, we discussed my cutting back, and by the time she was a year old, I was working only three days a week. A year later, our second daughter was born. Shortly after this, my husband had changed jobs and received a substantial increase in salary. Despite moving closer financially to the possibility of staying at home, I still wasn't ready. I constantly waffled back and forth, fearing that I'd be miserable. I saw staying at home as a sacrifice without many rewards. By the time the baby was nine months old, however, we were feeling that our lives were spinning out of control. Our kids were getting too little of us, and so were we! With the encouragement of my husband and his total commitment to making this a positive experience for me, we took the plunge. Without his loving support, I would have never considered this.

To prepare, we re-financed our mortgage - not to reduce the monthly payment, but to cut back to a 15 year mortgage instead of 30 years. (We saved over $100,000 over the life of our loan!) We reviewed our budget and made more adjustments in spending. And we bought a swing-set. (There's no park close by, and our kids were 1 and 2. Going anywhere with them is a challenge!)

I started to research how to further cut back our expenses, and found the Tightwad Gazette. From that I learned about creating a price list of all grocery items we purchase. I took it one step further, and actually created a database (I've got to keep up my skills somehow, right?) of more than 500 items that I watch in the grocery store circulars. Then, I know when a sale is really good and I can stock up on staples. I have reduced our total outlay of grocery spending by at least 25%, and have far more food and supplies "stocked up" than ever. I shop one night a week, and go to 3-5 stores. It's become a hobby to see how much I can get for the smallest price.

I found that there are lots of ways to cut our expenses. I have looked at our life insurance, car insurance, cellular rates, long distance rates, groceries, automobile maintenance, etc. We never had the time or energy to do the work before, and now that I'm doing it, I find how little work it really is. Being connected to the internet is a great help too. I receive The Frugal Life and The Dollar Stretcher and have found so many recipes that I don't think I'll ever buy another cookbook. I've researched investments and we're more actively planning for our retirement. I'm sure we've only scratched the surface when it comes to cutting back and saving money, so I will continue to explore and learn.

I fully expected that the first six months would be painful, and that I'd feel some regret about our decision. It's been six months now, and what I find instead, is that this was the best decision for our family, and that we are all reaping the rewards. Life is sane again, our kids are happy, the finances are manageable, and my stress level is low. Do I miss work? Nope. After years of high-level stress, it is the greatest relief to let all of that go. I have the mental energy to manage our home, finances and lifestyle, which is challenge enough! I am happy with the lifestyle we now have, and despite several enticing opportunities to return to work, I remain steadfast in my commitment. It has all been worth the pain of self-examination and change. Do I recommend it for other families? You betcha!

My husband and I were married young and had children immediately. I was a hairdresser and he worked as a stocker at a warehouse. He also went to school full time so we might have grossed around 30K those first tough years. Growing up, my parents were incredible spendthrifts, driving themselves to bankruptcy and chronic debt. My husband's parents were extremely poor and equally foolish with money. My husband learned the wisdom in being frugal, while I thought I could and should have anything I wanted regardless of cost or income. I was incredibly wasteful.

Initially my husband felt there was no way we could afford for one of us to stay home. At the time he was right - we were caught somewhere between frugal and spendthrift. We had no debt other than our house mortgage, (which was too large for our income) but we wasted a lot of cash on entertainment, eating out, clothing, gifts, etc. When his job transferred us, I was forced to quit my job and we went through a serious financial crunch that sent us into debt. The choice was to learn how to live on less money or send the kids to
daycare in a new town and get a job. I delved into frugal resources (such as your book and many others). Two years later, we both agree we couldn't be happier ... my husband appreciates that his home and kids are taken care of by me, that he has healthy homemade meals, even the fact that I'm able to run his briefcase to work when he forgets it. We have more time together, we know our kids are emotionally secure, we are in general more relaxed about life.

I read all three Tightwad books by Amy D. and "Miserly Moms" as well as other frugal sources. I also tapped into frugal websites on the internet. I let everyone know that I was on the frugal wagon and grandparents sent everything from books to cheesecloth. I began buying all our clothes and anything else I could second-hand, comparative grocery shopping and making leftovers for lunches. We agreed to stop buying alcohol, pop and most other junk foods, as well as almost everything pre-packaged and processed. We pared
down our Christmas list by more than half and I began making many gifts with my creative talents and the extra time I have now that I'm not working outside the home. We considered selling the second vehicle, but since it is paid for and is very low maintenance we decided to "park" it instead and drop the insurance until I needed the vehicle again. We almost completely eliminated eating out - it is one of the areas that I consider the hugest waste of money, and yet one of the easiest traps to fall into. Now, rather than impulse shopping and feeling lucky if we hit a sale, we are in the habit of brainstorming for alternatives and shopping around for the best deals.

Our experience was "sink or swim". Although a little scary, I think this greatly helped open the gates to creative thinking. A friend used to always say "people are our best resources". My advice is to surround yourself with the people who are leaders in this arena, the authors of the books, the people of our grandparents' generation
who lived frugally, friends who have already figured it out. (Although, in defense of family and friends who are diehard spendthrifts, there is as much to be learned from them and how their choices affect their lives as from
frugal people.)

I am very happy with my decision to stay home. I no longer justify putting my kids in daycare, I no longer wonder how they are handling it and if they're being well cared for. I now have time for my family and for me - for my hobbies and my art. The irony is that when my husband no longer had to work around my work schedule and became more flexible in his job, he received a management promotion that came with a significant yearly raise. We are back to a very comfortable income level, but we continue to live frugally and save as much as possible. I think we are a living example of God's promise to provide.

Besides all the obvious benefits of living frugally - getting out of debt, being able to afford your real desires - there are the hidden ones that I wouldn't have otherwise thought about. Although my husband still brings home less income than many of our peers, we have college funds for both kids and a very nice retirement fund which will
probably allow us to retire before our 50's. We also have the security of knowing that if anything happened to his job, we could live comfortably for several months. It's obvious why one of the major causes of divorce is financial matters... knowing where our money is and that it is helping us achieve our dreams has taken a lot of stress out of life.

When my husband and I were first married (both of us were 21 years old), I had no clue on how to manage money. Unfortunately that got us into some financial trouble, which made it impossible for me to be home with our new baby boy. It broke my heart, but I did not know how to be "frugal". I guess with maturity, you start to realize your shortcomings and the part you play in the happenings of your life. I realized (with God's help) that if I was to be able to stay home with my son, I needed to curb my spending and learn how to make do with what I had. My husband, at the time, was very skeptical and felt I could never accomplish this. So I quietly read all that I could about being thrifty, using what I had, etc. I read The Tightwad Gazette I, II & III, Miserly Moms, Women Leaving the Workplace, Make your Own Groceries, and several books on women staying home with their children and why they decided to stay home. I shopped yard sales and thrift stores for clothing, cut down incredibly on the amount we spend on Christmas gifts and basically changed my whole attitude about spending money. Instead of using money as a means to make me happy, I made it a tool to be used carefully in order to be home. My grocery bill went from $85-$100 a week to $60-65 every other week. That in itself is a savings of $280 a month. My son now brings lunch to school -- and I make his lunches at home, i.e. egg salad, spaghetti in a thermos (wide mouth that keeps food hot), and leftovers. I make his snacks, i.e. popcorn, cookies, funnel cakes, etc.

Well I'm very proud to say (as is my husband) I paid off my credit card in 6 months ($3,500), started a home business doing secretarial work and medical transcription, and as of December 18, 1998, am now home full-time. I thank God every day for helping me to discipline myself for the things that truly matter, my family. A new car, large house, lots of "toys" are just poor substitutes for what is really important, and that is my husband and my son.

Quite a few of my "working outside the home" friends ask me how I did it. Most of them feel it is impossible to live on one income and survive. I tell them my "story" in hopes that it will encourage them and show them that I am just an ordinary woman who made the decision to stay home, and was willing to take the steps necessary to accomplish this. Jonni, you asked how about our husband's initial reactions...After I paid off my credit card and cut down on my spending, he realized I was serious. Although he wasn't initially
supportive of my home business, I soon showed him that this, too, was going to work. Now (Praise God) my husband supports me like he never has before. I am finding that my marriage and my family as a whole is so much more at peace, most likely because I am more at peace. I have more time to prepare for things, birthdays, social events, every day errands & chores, and I find that the household is less stressed. Money can't buy that!

I quit my job as office manager in Feb. 98. My parents had been taking care of our daughter while we worked, and it was going beautifully. Then the day after her 2nd birthday, my dad had a stroke. He ended up almost totally paralyzed on his left side. My mom couldn't handle caring for my daughter and my dad, which broke their hearts. I hated the idea of sending her to daycare, plus I knew it would hurt them even more to do so. It was an agonizing decision. I knew my parents felt awful about this, and knew it would be easier on them if I would quit and SAH, telling my mom I wanted to do it anyway and this was just the final factor in the decision. I was also
5 months pregnant, and knew it would be very difficult (not to mention expensive!) to put the baby in daycare too.

My DH wasn't making a big income, and there were times I truly didn't think we'd make it. But every time things looked their worst, something would happen to save us. Then DH got a new job - at the postal service - and our finances are looking up again.

I pinched pennies like mad for the first several months, and it was so rough. After I had the baby, I couldn't get out to shop as often - I'd been going to 3 stores (bakery thrift, discount grocery, then the regular grocery to finish the list) but then I was lucky to get out at all. I learned to cook a lot from scratch. Fortunately our son was an easy baby and he let me cook. :) Now he won't, and neither will my 3 year old. :) We got so sick of doing without so many things that we splurged a lot when the holiday overtime money came in. Now it's over, and we're back to regular paychecks - better than the old job, but it's time to tighten our belts again.

So, we managed to get through Christmas without running up the charge cards (well, DH did, he bought me a computer, but it's almost paid for). We have a very small 2nd mortgage for consolidating our old credit card balances and a home improvement loan. Our house mortgage is almost completely paid off, and I actually have $1000 in a savings account.

I love being home with the kids, though it's incredibly boring sometimes. I can't keep up with the housework, can't do anything "extra" like sewing or crafts, which is partly why it's so boring. I'm used to feeling like I've accomplished something, and just doing day to day child care, I don't get that feeling of accomplishment. I need to work on being a better parent, I need to get more organized, I need to learn to cook better. I'm working far harder than I ever did at a paying job, but the benefits are great, and the kids are happy.

After some eight years of enduring temporary jobs and locations while my husband searched for a tenure-track position as a university professor, my family has now been settled in southern New Mexico for going on five years. Those early, prechild years of our marriage were a time of enormous challenge, taking us from coast to coast and across two continents. During my husband's lengthy search we took turns as primary breadwinner. My work ranged from being a children's librarian to working in a bookstore; my husband held positions as a visiting professor and postdoctoral fellow at several universities. The birth of a son and subsequent move to a permanent location, however, led to the joint decision that I become a stay-at-home mom.

It is a tribute to my husband's naturally frugal lifestyle that, despite some expensive moves and an uncertain future, we were able to save approximately $40,000 toward a house down payment. And, although I once scoffed when I discovered a notebook precisely detailing my husband's expenditures on everything from shampoo to a pack of Juicyfruit, I have come to embrace my husband's tightwaddy ways as necessary to maintaining our one-income situation with a minimum of hardship. The most important change in my thinking has come from the openness my husband and I share in talking about money. I have slowly learned the importance of discussing purchases and of adopting a "wait-and-see" attitude towards potential impulse buys. While in the past my strategy was to buy first and ask questions later, I'm now usually able to give myself a little breathing room to consider the item at hand before mindlessly plunking down the bucks for it. My husband's thoughtful approach at weighing wants (inhaling a quart of ice cream at a sitting, for example) versus needs (a well-balanced meal that not only feeds the tastebuds, but also nourishes body and mind) has greatly helped in my slow, often painful transformation from spendthrift to fledgling frugal mom.

Over the last few years I have developed a number of strategies that have contributed to our relatively stress-free lifestyle. For example, I now garage sale with a vengeance to find virtually all my son's clothes. I also frequent thrift stores (my best purchase was a Monopoly Jr. game I bought for a quarter last summer). I have even learned to bake bread, a real triumph, considering I used to lament to my mother that I could only boil water. I have discovered the power of bulk buying: when I find a good deal on tomato sauce in a supermarket circular, I buy a case. My favorite tightwad deal, though -- and one that I've only recently rediscovered -- is the public library. At our library I can borrow books, videos and books on tape for FREE (barring late charges!). The library is also a great source of free children's entertainment, in the form of programs designed to connect kids to books (storytimes, craft programs, computer lessons, internet access, and the like).

My staying at home has been a boon for my entire family. My preschooler profits from the stability and predictability that comes from having routines he can count on. For my part, I've been able to closely observe my child's growth and development, learn skills that enhance our family's lifestyle, and take my time exploring a variety of future career possibilities without feeling that I'm giving my family short shrift. I have been fortunate to be able to combine parenting with freelance work as an editor and sometime writer. Frugality has given me that freedom.

Being a Miserly Mom, in concert with my husband, the original Frugal Father, has also helped provide money for yearly plane trips to Canada to visit relatives, a houseful of carefully acquired, high-quality furnishings, a preschool program for my son, a used, impeccably cared for Toyota Camry, and the ability to survive whatever emergencies might come our way. No, we certainly can't sock the dollars away like we could in our preJimmy days, nor can I pack away those quarts of ice cream like I used to, but we have the satisfaction of knowing, as Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin put it in their book Your Money or Your Life, that we have "enough...and then some."

I became a mom-at-home when I was pregnant with my daughter. My husband and I lived in Norfolk, VA at the time and I was working a part-time job. Of course most people know that military pay is not elaborate, but my husband and I had always agreed about the importance of me being home with our children, which I am most thankful for. Prior to our marriage I had worked many years as a
secretary/admin. asst. but knew in my heart that this is not something I wanted to continue to pursue once I was a mom. I know at the time we made less than $17K or so, perhaps even less. Yet I don't have any memories whatsoever of feeling badly about my decision. Through any financial challenge I truly believe that God blessed our choice. We always had enough food, our bills were paid and I was able to be with my daughter.

Right after my daughter was born, money was a bit tight. So I did go back to my part-time job for a month or two. I couldn't stand being away from my daughter so much that I did quit, even though a trusted friend was watching my child. It was then that I realized that I would not go back to work again if I could help it. I also realized that this is not what God would want for me to do, as my heart was so uneasy about it.

The interesting thing about staying home is that many can manage it, but not everyone thinks they can. I truly believe that there are just a few situations of people who cannot - like single moms/widowers. But I even know of some of these moms who are able to! I believe it all comes down to how willing/unwilling you are to slash expenses in your life and to take the time to make these changes.

These days I am a mom-at-home who also has health challenges. Even though I would not be able to work outside of the home, I still would not have it any other way. My job here is being the "Home Manager". I don't get paid for it:) but I get great satisfaction knowing that I am making my husband's salary stretch as far as possible, and that we are able to still live as we originally intended. Do we have debt? Well, yes, but we are truly working on that - much of it accrued due to my health. I see too many couple friends of ours struggling to work, get daycare for their kids, commute, get supper on the table and get everything else done they need to accomplish before the next day - only to start all over again! And you know what? Most of them are not any better off than we are.

I would highly recommend if you want to stay home to decide that being the "Home Manager" is your job. Then you need to decide that you are going to be willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. I wish back then that the internet was a source for me to use. How blessed we are today to be able to extract such wonderful and helpful information from so many others! Read every frugal book that you can, as well as books geared towards moms-at-home. Make a list of the things you are willing to cut back on, and the things that
you really can't. Believe me, it can be done, and I know if you put your family first this way, God will truly bless your life.

Coming Home Story #5

Before I became a SAHM we had one son & we both worked a block apart. We drove one vehicle to work to save on gas & the other vehicle. We are quiet Bible believing Christians & don't drink or choose the normal entertainment. Our entertainment budget is under $300 for the year. But we lived paycheck to paycheck & about $6000.00 debt on credit cards which we gradually paid off mostly by income tax returns after I quit working & gifts from family members.

I wanted to stay home but dh didn't see any way that we could manage and Michael was in the care of a provider who treated him as her own great grandchild so thought everything was fine. He just never understood how I felt since his mom wasn't home & they all survived. They had a neighbor that was like an aunt to them & she watched them till mom got home. My mom was home although she did work nights.

I was laid off when Michael was almost 2 years old & started searching for a job but couldn't find anything that paid more than $6 per hour. After being on unemployment for several months we decided it was futile for me to continue searching for a job & that I would just stay home. I took a PT job while he & my parents took care of Michael so I could have some fun money & for an
emergency fund. Then Geoffrey was born. & Hannah followed 15 months later. Now I stay home & baby-sit a friends children after school.

I had been given a couple magazines (no longer published ) called Gentle Spirit & The Way Back Home They gave great pointers to cut back & save. Some we could use others we couldn't. Your book Miserly Mom's has been wonderful & also a book called "Confessions of an Organized Homemaker" has been very helpful

Looking back on things I wish I had been instructed to handle money as a child, but overall I would have just quit working at about 6 months into my pregnancy & become a SAHM at that point.

~M. Tacker, Manchester, NH

I am 40 years old with 2 teenage boys 16 and 19 and a great hubby also. Almost 3 years ago I made the decision to quit because our life was very hectic. My husband was working nights (he is a truck driver but home every day) from about 8pm until anywhere from 9am-12p. I worked 8-5 and most of the time he was going out the door as I was coming in. My youngest runs cross country and on Sat they had out of town meets so none of us saw hubby/dad until Sat evening when we got home. I had a great job, paid well but was always tired and grumpy-getting up at 5:30 and not getting home until 5:30 and still going until around 11pm when I would drop dead in bed. One evening my husband and I were talking about what we did with our money, we should have had more than what we had saved and I determined that it was used to eat out alot, buying convenience foods at the grocery and that type of thing. I stated the desire to quit at that time because the kids were 17 and 14 and I felt I needed to be here to keep them from straying into trouble. He whole heartedly agreed with me.

For several months prior to my giving notice we paid off bills and put some money aside so that if I wanted some little something I wouldn't feel guilty about buying it with "his" money (and no he never made me feel that way-I think some women just feel that way). So in March of 1996 I gave 1 months notice at work and have never looked back. Of course, they didn't want me to quit, even offered advancement and more money but life is too short. It was the best decision we could have ever made. I read tips on several boards and have dropped our grocery bill in almost half from about $600 to about $300 and we eat as well as we did then. I learned about matching sales with coupons and that is the biggest help of all. I have read and learned how to do things from scratch and last year made my own chicken noodle soup from scratch and it was a total success.

We do not regret this decision at all. Several people thought I would be back at work in 6 months but its going on 3 years and I have absolutely no desire. We have the most wonderful relationship with our kids-our youngest would hardly talk at all now we can't get him to shut up and I love it. Sure I miss my money sometimes but we always manage. God will provide, just trust in him. I was talking not to long ago about maybe going part time since we now have one in college and my hubby said NO-he liked our life now, simple, quiet and both my boys said NO they liked knowing I was home when they walked in that door. My ear could have burst with pride at that moment.

I was a Marine Biologist working for the government, with several published papers. I was shopping whenever I wanted and buying just about whatever I wanted. Dh and self would go out to eat several times a week.

When I was pregnant, we had looked at several day cares that we liked and picked one. After the baby came, I knew I could not find it in my heart to go back to work. My dh said, as long as we can pay the bills, that it would be ok. Now, he wouldn't have it any other way, nor would I!

I am learning to cook, sew, raise animals, and just enjoy the simple things in life! Best decision I have made in my life, as well as the lives of my children. No one can take the place of a loving mother (or father) who stays home with the children. Material goods are nothing in comparison with the life and up bringing of a child. This time is so important to them. Don't cheat them out of time with you because of material things you "think" you need!

My husband and I started our married life by moving from the Midwest to CA to work for the Navy. A month after our 1st anniversary we had a daughter. I switched to a part-time schedule (30 hours) to be with her more. We thought we could not afford for me to quit at the time because we did not have the foresight to purchase a house we could afford on one salary. Two years later, we had a son and I still continued to work part-time. I grew to dislike my job and had trouble finding good, reliable day-care.

When our son was almost 2, my husband and I decided the best thing would be for me to stay home full-time with the kids. He has been very supportive of me staying at home. Our 'steps to getting home' were: paying off our bills (other than mortgage) and obtaining a home daycare license. I watched one infant full-time and a couple other toddlers on an intermittent basis. We have moved twice since then and are now in North Carolina.

My tips: buy a house you can afford on one income, don't worry about 'keeping up with the Jonses'. The things you can (or can't) buy are not what's important to children. It's being there for them when they need you. I find the public library to be a wonderful resource for free storytimes, book and tape checkout.

The decision to stay home full-time is one of my best. I feel so fortunate and know it is the best thing to do. Being a mother is the most important job in the world (although it doesn't always feel like it!). Our daughter is now 8, son #1 is 6 and son #2 is 3. I have not worked outside the home since before our 3 1/2-year-old was born. In hindsight, I should have quit my job after our daughter was born. I know we could have figured out a way to make it work.

It gives me such joy to read about others who have made the decision to stay at home and take care of their children!

Five years ago, after 9 years with a major airline, I was furloughed. I thought my life was over! lol No "extra" income, no health benefits, no other adults to connect with! I was given a choice by the airline of either accepting the furlough or commuting to a city about 4 hours away, Monday- Friday, with only weekends at home. With two little boys at home, my husband, (who is a pilot and is away 3 out of 4 weeks), and I decided there had to be a better way. After a short training course thru the local junior college, (NOT expensive) to become a medical transcriptionist, I took myself out on what was to be a grueling task of finding clients. It was really difficult, but paid off in the end. I am now 5 years post airline career, and happier than I ever thought possible! I have a steady client base, and the income is just fine! Better yet, every single morning when my little guys come down the stairs, I am the first one to see them. I am room mom, work in their classrooms 2 days per week, and am here at the end of each of their school days to talk with them.

It is not easy to cut back and look for/find ways to save money just to make ends meet. But it certainly is worth every single ounce of effort! Keep up the good work of reminding moms of this principle!!! I've read your first book, and plan to read your second.